Tired and Sad

Just honestly, not feeling that great any longer.

I can’t be totally honest about what has happened lately. It’s frustrating but I am being watched.

My mom has been as bad as ever. I can only be out of the house when some one has been here lately. It’s so frustrating to be dealing with this but I know it has hard on my mother lately.

The visit with my mother was wonderful. We only had one minor glitch when she lied to me. I’m not fond of being lied it, as you may notice.

I continue to be sad lately, but it’s just that… sad. The depression is lifting and I am trying to get up and around now. I go walk a mile to the store/bank, or run errands on the bus. (The bus stop alone is almost a mile.)

I try to be out of the house no more than an hour or two because my mother can get confused and she tends to smoke and burn herself etc. lately. I took the cigarettes away from her but she had back-up I feel like I must be here if the nurse’s aid is not here to keep an eye on her so she doesn’t burn the house down.

Luckily my mother had “sundown”. She is pretty well off under until the evening comes. At this point I don’t see that point in getting her to stop smoking or drinking. Things will go downhill either way. I watching my grandmother put in a nursing home and then disk, both knowing nothing of her surroundings. She didn’t know who I was… or who she was.

Again, the only time I have to myself is after she locks herself in the bedroom. Luckily she has an alert button, Just In Case.

I am time but I will try to leave tomorrow. I love you guys.


One thought on “Tired and Sad”

  1. Im sorry honey that things are so hard right now.. I wish you could get some relief. I am happy to hear your depression is beginning to lift.. I cant imagine dealing with what you are but your a strong person, you will get through this time. Just have faith it will get better and remember Your Awesome! Big Hugs.. xxxx

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