When I was a child I believed in Santa even in the most difficult times. I never received what I wrote to Santa for, but I received toys and clothes and was more often content than disappointed.
As a teenager I began to grow out of my childish ways and into rebellious ones. I received presents that my parents observed that I “needed” more often than what I “wanted.” I received typewriters and notebooks for school or clothes for my growing body.
Once I graduated high school and moved out on my own I received jewelry from my boyfriend who later became my husband. I received a piece or two of clothing from my mother, a fancy kitchen gadget from my brother, and flowers or chocolate from my father.
Once I became married, my husband’s family spoiled me with DVDs and Ipods and computers and full stockings, the rest of my family continued in their habits.
After I became a mother, the job of Santa fell onto my husband and me and everyone spoiled her rotten. Since she was born a week before Christmas, this began after she turned one. She and I only got home from the hospital the day before Christmas in 2005 so there was no time to prepare Christmas for this blessing who had arrived six weeks early. At this point I began to learn to see Christmas through my child’s eyes and how much joy I could bring to her on Christmas.
After my divorce the situation stayed about the same. Until I turned my life into a pile of wreckage. This chased away people and burned bridges all over the place. This was reflected last Christmas when all I received was a pair of Dollar Tree gloves from my mom.
This year I know for a fact I will be receiving only the Christmas card my daughter drew me before I left Ohio.
Don’t get me wrong, I am not complaining, nearly pointing out the situation. Even though I will not be receiving gifts this year, I have put Christmas in a much better perspective. Sometimes hard times in our life cause this to happen. Where I am staying there is no Christmas tree or lights. There are no stockings. There is a single simple Nativity scene. There is a kitchen full of items for me to start on today, itemsto make cookies and a very fancy English roast that I am looking forward to, as well as a homemade pecan pie waiting to be eaten.
My true gift this year is my family, a roof over my head, and my new start in life with a chance to make something of it instead of dying on the streets.
I beg of you to look around this holiday and think about what you have and be grateful for whatever that is. Even if you have very little, you still have so much if you look around and see it.
Have yourself a Merry little Christmas!!