Can’t Breathe


Things are crazy lately, going from good to bad and back again in a heartbeat. I thought I had it together or close to together for a while, but life gets in the way. Things happen in our lives that throw our wheels of life out of alignment. For me these things have happened just too close together for my fragile brain to handle. I call eight hospitalizations in six months fragile.

The first event that stopped my breath was something I still don’t talk about, soon after that came the second. Both events altered my perceptions of reality in a huge way. Within two months I lost fifty pounds, whittling down to under five feet and eighty pounds.

Third was the loss of my son twelve years ago, along with him I lost my hope, future, my family and months of plans for it all. I stopped functioning for a long time.

Fourth is this past July when I lost my mom, feeling like I lost my future but mostly my present and past. I kept barely functioning in a haze.

Then very shortly after I was diagnosed with an incurable, horrible, fatal illness which is robbing me of my physical and mental faculties a whole lot faster than I like. Especially at 32 years old.

Now I go back and forth between not functioning and barely functioning. I lose my sanity, in every sense of the word, frequently.

I’m doing everything I can but unless I can come up with a good and free technology to helpp me with my eyesight, tremors etc. This blog is going to slowly die, basically one day fade away like so many times before, but never come back. Maybe I am just being negative. I hope so.
Have a blessed day

Amy

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