I have been struggling on how to even get a sentence out properly. This is endlessly frustrating, so imagine how hard it is to write a blog post when working in a brain quicksand.
Lately people are seemingly ignoring my request for privacy and I have been dragged into drama after drama with my neighbors, my landlords, all of it. I can’t take much more. THIS IS ALL MAKING ME SEVERELY SICK. I have spent plenty of time in psych wards lately, and I leave feeling better… until my environment takes over within days and I end up doing something like breaking my hand on a wall and needing surgery. Luckily I got out of the house for about two hours today and that helped, but it’s been more and more difficult for me to do lately with my legs being a pain, literally and figuratively.
Another consequence of all this stress is my self-injurious behavior has kicked in again in a nasty way. I will avoid being specific.
I don’t see a solution at this point other than to keep my head down and take it. That’s not usually my style but I need to survive this. In one piece preferably. I going to talk this out with my case worker today while I do the receiving at a downtown food pantry.
Have a blessed day.